AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONAL AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ...isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ...but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex
P.S. Remember this motto ...An armed society makes for a more civil society!

Tulsa State Fair 2009 Overview

We had a great time at the fair this year. First time we have went in a couple of years. We got mega ride passes. I didn't use mine much at all but we definitely got our monies worth out of Wyatt's. We watched a sea lion show and took our pictures with smelly sea lions. We took our pictures with Parrots. Wyatt fished, busted balloons with darts to win a snake, rode and wanted a wiggle car, and rode in a new Ford simulator thing. Wyatt did a bungee jumping thing on a trampoline (not like being dropped off something hooked onto a bungee cord). Wyatt did a trapeze. Wyatt had a snake balloon made by a clown. We went through the petting zoo and fed several animals. Wyatt was interested in all the little "Pay .50 and see the worlds smallest horse, largest snake, smallest woman, etc." We saw a tiny swimming pig show. Wyatt rode everything he wanted to ride, several times. His favorites were the swings and fun houses (he gets the loving fun houses from his Aunt Heidi). We figured out the system though. I would stand in line for the swings while he was on them. He would get off the swings and take my place in line so he would immediately get right back on the swings. I would go to the back of the line and do it again. We did this 11 times in one night. One trip to the fair without Wyatt, Heidi and I did an ion detox foot soak and found out our bodies are filled with gross stuff. LOL. Another trip with Heidi, Kayla, Aaliyah and Sage we spent $20 on dumb candy and Aaliyah fell asleep on me while we were walking around. We saw a hypnotist. Heidi was amazed.

I cant talk about the fair without talking about what we ate. So here goes.....

Pizza on a Stick

Corn on the Cob

Turkey Leg

Pretzel

Chocolate covered Bacon

Apple Dumpling with Ice Cream on top

Chicken on a Stick

Fried Brownie

Candy

Chocolate Dipped Cheesecake on a Stick

Butterfly Potato French Fries

Cheese on a Stick

Fudge (Wyatt even had to bring some home)

Now that sounds like a lot but remember we were there several times and it wasn't just me and Wyatt!! Cant wait for next year!!!

Dogs

Boston Terriers are my favorite breed of dogs. My dad got me stuck on them. About ten years ago I had a male and female named Tango and Trixie. A couple years ago when Wyatt and I had our own house I decided it was time to look for another Boston Terrier. So we got Princess. Princess is the greatest dog ever except she is an escape artist. Wyatt and I found a rescue group that had a small Boston Terrier that we liked and we went to Sapulpa to get her. Well, we didn't end up with the Boston we went to get. Princess chose us instead. So that was in February of 2007. Princess turned 3 on March 17th of this year. Now through the time since we got Princess we have tried having other dogs.

1. An expensive German Shorthair hunting dog that was a gift from Poppy to Wyatt. Wyatt named him Buck (since he was a hunting dog) Buck would dig underneath the fence and then run from me! So we couldn't keep Buck anymore and returned him to Poppy's house. While Buck lived at Poppy's house he dug under his fence and dug into the Jack Russell terrier fence and let a mommy and daddy out. One of them drowned in the swimming pool and the other one was never to be seen again. Buck, needless to say was never seen or heard from again.

2. A Jack Russell terrier, another gift from Poppy to Wyatt. A small female puppy. Wyatt named her Angel. She was really cute! We had her for over a year and we couldn't get her potty trained. I'm afraid she had a learning disability. The final straw was when she had an accident ON my boyfriend at the time and the boyfriend lived with me so Angel had to go. My stepmom wanted her, tried her for about a week, couldn't get her potty trained so my Uncle Randy now has Angel and loves her very much. I hear she is very spoiled at his house.

3. My ex boyfriend wanted a Great Dane so we got a Great Dane on March 2nd. He was full grown and came from Craigslist from a family that was having a baby and already had small children and just couldn't keep him any longer. So we somewhat rescued him. He came with the name Kane. Well Kane was a nice dog but had a long tail. If it rained and he got muddy I always remembered to wipe off his feet but not his tail, therefore I had mud spots on my walls several times. If a child opened the back door to let Kane inside he basically ran over them and got through to smear mud all over the floor. If anyone accidentally let Kane out the front door it was terrible to get him back. He would run all over the place and of course people were scared of him. Kane ate like a horse. So when the boyfriend and I broke up I put Kane on craigslist and got rid of him that day.

4. My assistant manager found a small dog hanging out at his house. He felt he had to get rid of her quickly before his children got attached to the dog. So it was me or the pound!!! What kind of option is that??? So I took the dog home. Named her Bridget. Around the same time I was dog sitting my friends dog Blaze. Well Bridget and Blaze became buddies and so Bridget went home with Blaze when her daddies picked her up.

5. I was looking everyday for a Boston Terrier to rescue. looking at petfinder.com and on craigslist. My Dad knew I really wanted a Boston Terrier. No luck with all these other dogs. Dad had told me there was a red Boston Terrier running around his neighborhood that wasn't taken care of. So on August 27th i was sitting at home and get a call from my sister Jennifer. They had scooped up the dog and had her at dads house. Immediately I went and got her. She looked a bit pregnant and looked very rough. I really wish I would have taken before and after pictures of her. She had dried oil spots on her that made it look like she didn't even have hair in those places. I took her home and gave her a bath. She looked amazingly better. We named her Dixie.

Dixie and Princess are not best friends but they have gotten a lot better. Maybe since Dixie basically lived on the streets she doesn't want to share any affection. When someone comes in the front door Princess wants to greet them and Dixie will fight with Princess to keep her off of the person coming in the door which i think is protecting that person. Maybe I'm just a wishful thinker but I'm hoping this will work out.